Breaking the Stigma: Men’s Mental Health Matters

When the Indian Men's Cricket Team lifted the T20 World Cup, celebrations erupted nationwide. As the euphoric crowd cheered on, the men in blue displayed an unusual side — vulnerability, happiness, relief, and tears were on full display. For that period, men (in this case, sportsmen considered national heroes) were unafraid to show and share their emotions. Sadly, this is not the case for most men.

According to a report released by the National Crime Records Bureau, the overall male-to-female ratio of suicide deaths is 72.5: 27.4. A startlingly lower number of men get diagnosed with depression compared to women. So, what leads to this extreme step?

Multiple studies show that men struggle to express emotions for various reasons. Conscious living and mindfulness coach Vidisha Kaushal explains, “The stigma around men’s mental health and well-being often stems from obsolete stereotypes and societal expectations around ‘real men’ being strong, stoic, and unemotional. Young boys grow up with being strongly conditioned along these lines. Understandably, they then become men who hesitate to seek mental health assistance, fearing that they might be seen as fragile or weak.”

“Men are often expected to portray resilience, strength, and self-sufficiency, which can lead them to hesitate to admit their own struggles or seek support. Societal expectations of being the protector and provider may also discourage men from sharing mental health issues they face,” adds Janvi Rathore, the in-house therapist at The Mood Space.

This stigma substantially impacts men individually, families, and society as a whole, according to Kaushal. Individually, it can disconnect men from what they genuinely feel, force them to strive for, and project an image that is far from true. It also prevents men from seeking the support they need, leading to untreated mental health conditions, increased risk of substance abuse, and high risk of suicide. It comes as no surprise that the rate of suicide among Indian men is considerably higher than that of women. At a broader level, this can lead to unhappy and pressurised environments at home for the partner, children, and the larger family, too, and therefore negatively impact society as a whole.

Mumbai-based psychiatrist Dr Harish Shetty lists down some of the most common but overlooked reasons:

• Sleep deprivation
• Overuse of gadgets
• Work stress
• Financial stress
• Loss of job
• Relationship problems
• Poor nutrition

Dr Shetty adds, “Myths like ‘mard ko dard nahi hota’ (men cannot feel pain) need to be dispelled.” He recommends making regular mental health checkups familiar and mainstream like any other health checkup.

Anushree Lokhande, counselling psychologist and founder of Evolving Together, adds, “The top causes of mental health issues in men stem from societal expectations and norms that place undue pressure on them. Our patriarchal society often assigns men significant financial burdens and goals while simultaneously granting them freedom with minimal consequences. This imbalance can lead to heightened stress, anxiety, and a sense of isolation. Additionally, there's a widespread lack of education and understanding around emotions and sexual health within our communities, which further compounds these issues.”

 Tackling these fundamental issues is essential in fostering mental health and developing an environment that encourages men to ask for help and prosper.

Kaushal shares the concept of the 4 Rs that men can practise to cope with mental health:

• Recognise: Acknowledge and accept your emotions, regardless of whether they are positive or negative. Realise that, like physical health, mental health will also fluctuate and that experiencing mental health challenges is a sign of being human and not a sign of weakness.
• Reconnect: Take time to rebuild the connection within. When you prioritise self-care and take charge of your health, nutrition, and sleep, it automatically helps you regulate your nervous system better. Taking part in activities that you find enjoyable can also contribute to a sense of balance, relaxation, and rejuvenation.
• Reach out: Seeking help is an essential step towards better mental well-being. Often, men bottle up their feelings and issues, and that contributes to health issues at a physical and mental level. Consider joining offline or online communities to meet and connect with others experiencing similar challenges. Sharing experiences in safe spaces can significantly reduce feelings of isolation. Talking to trusted friends, family members, or a mental health professional about what you're going through can also be helpful.
• Respect: If you respect your feelings, you will gradually normalise them and be equipped to handle them compassionately. This also enables you not to stay triggered about them for long periods. Instead, you become a positive role model by discussing them and educating others. By doing so, you can foster a positive atmosphere at home and in society at large.

Lokhande recommends a few basic things to keep in mind:

• Being open to listening without judgement and offering a space where male friends or partners feel truly heard is crucial.
• Avoid giving advice; instead, focus on understanding their experience and validating their feelings.
• Sharing your struggles can also help normalise their situation, making them feel less alone.

Initiating a conversation about mental health with other men requires sensitivity and openness. Often, men talk about everything from sports to business but rarely touch upon their feelings and how they are really doing. They mention their struggles in general terms but often avoid the underlying emotions. Starting a conversation about mental health with other men involves creating a comfortable space where both feel at ease.

Rathore suggests using open-ended questions like, “What’s been weighing on your mind lately?” or “How are you coping with everything going on?”

She adds that normalising the discussion of mental well-being by highlighting that it's normal to face challenges and seek help is a sign of strength. Offer your support, mention available resources if they need further assistance, and follow up to show you care and are there for ongoing support.

Finally, being there and showing up for someone struggling with their mental health makes a huge difference. Breaking the stigma around men’s mental health requires awareness, patience, and effort. It's a long and slow journey, but it's worth it.

• Changes in the upbringing of boys to normalise feelings, emotions, and tools to take care of one’s mental health right from childhood. For example — encourage all children to express their feelings through journalling, art, and physical exercise.
• Challenging stereotypes, promoting open discussions about mental health among men, and encouraging seeking help without judgement.
• By fostering a culture in families, organisations, and society where men feel comfortable expressing their emotions and seeking support, we can positively impact their mental well-being and overall quality of life.

Societal pressure expects men to be strong and stoic, creating a stigma around anyone trying to approach the issue of men’s mental health. As a result, most men shy away from discussing their emotional health.

The best treatment/therapy to break the taboo of men’s mental health would be awareness. The higher the understanding of men’s mental struggles, the more likely we as a society would talk about this issue. Regarding treatment, men usually respond better to structured interventions and evidence-based, systematic therapies.

Mental health issues in men might show up as irritability, anger, or physical symptoms. When facing mental health issues, men are likely to externalise through their conduct, addictions, and substance abuse. Many men tend to bottle up their feelings and emotions and, subsequently, their mental health issues too.