A Beginner’s Guide To Lubricants for Your Love Life

First things first! Good lubrication is critical to good sex and incredible orgasms. Whether with a partner or masturbating with or without toys, better lubrication reduces friction — making the experience more pleasurable. And yes, a good lubricant can also help those who are already having great sex.

While the vagina produces natural lubricants and fluids to maintain its health and elasticity, sex lubricants or personal lubes help in reducing pain and discomfort during penetrative sex.

The biggest myth surrounding personal lubricants is that they’re required only in case of vaginal dryness. Contrary to popular belief, intimate lubricants lead to lesser friction and smoother contact during penetrative sex, making them the perfect companions for vaginal, anal, and even oral sex.

A good quality lubricant that suits your needs will be your best friend between the sheets, regardless of age or gender. It will make intimate time fun and more pleasurable whether you're with a partner, going solo, or engaging in sex-toy play. A well-timed application often creates an enjoyable and more satisfying experience by keeping the vaginal or anal tissue soft and lubricated.

Another massive misconception about the use of sex lubricants is that requiring it means a lack of desire or a drop in libido. Remember, using a lubricant for sex does not mean that your body is not performing usually or that you are not aroused enough. A personal lubricant enhances and, at times, helps the vagina produce fluids that keep things fun and wet. 

You might need it in case of menopause, medication, hormonal changes, and, at times, due to a medicinal side effect. Just because your vagina is not lubricating itself should not stop you from having safe and pleasurable sex.

There are different kinds of sex lubricants for various types of play — ranging from foreplay to oral and from shower sex to anal. You can choose depending on what you have in mind. However, that does not mean that one can start using lubricants indiscreetly. 

Dr Anuradha Khemkha, MBBS MD Obstetrics and Gynaecology, says, "Most of the lubricants are generally safe to use in moderation and not in excessive quantity. One can opt for lubricants for anal and vaginal use, which are nonirritant, hypoallergic, paraben-free, free of harsh chemicals, and pH balanced because the vagina is acidic. If the pH balance is high, women might end up with an alkaline vagina leading to excessive white discharge that is called leukorrhea or bacterial vaginosis.”

While several brand names with added flavours and textures are available in the market, there are three types of lubricants to choose from.

As the name suggests, they are water-soluble with a few other ingredients. These work well for the vagina as well as sex toys but require reapplication for anal sex or longer sessions in the sack. Since water is their base ingredient, water-based lubricants give the most natural feeling, making them a great starting point for first-time users.

Pros:

-   Works well with condoms and sex toys

-   Most wallet-friendly

-   Maintains the vaginal flora and protects its pH balance

Cons:

-   Can't be used in a shower, pool, bathtub, or any other type of water sex as the water-based lubricant washes away easily

-   Dries out sooner than oil or silicone-based lubricants

A little tip:
A silicone-based lubricant is a better choice for anal sex as it lasts longer and has a velvety feel to it, making it especially easy for first-timers.

These are a blend of silicone fluids that help keep things wet and well-lubricated for a long time. A popular choice for those looking to take sex out of the bedroom, silicone-based lubricants work in the pool, the shower, and even a bathtub. This type of sex lubricant is also a better choice for anal sex as it lasts longer and has a velvety feel to it, making it especially easy for first-timers.

Pros:

-   Being waterproof, it can be used in showers, pools, and bathtubs

-   Best suited for anal sex due to its slicker, lasting nature

-   Hypoallergenic, which means it is less likely to cause discomfort or allergies

Cons:  

-   Can’t be used with silicone sex toys

-   Might leave stains that are not easy to wash

The most common but least recommended oil-based lubricants should not be used for penetrative sex. These can be used for external masturbation and anal play but can destroy condoms and also cause harm to the vagina's delicate ecosystem.

Pros:

-   Great for external masturbation, massage, and stimulation

 Cons:

-   Can damage condoms, leading to unwanted pregnancy and STIs

-   Extremely dangerous for people with food allergies

-   Use during penetrative sex can lead to an imbalance in the vagina’s pH

Dr Khemkha shares a list of recommendations for anyone considering using lubes, including homemade, organic lubricants.

Avoid harsh chemicals like parabens, glycerin, and petroleum jelly. Your lubricant should be nonirritant, hypoallergic, and paraben-free.

Coconut oil disturbs the vaginal pH, inviting yeast infections and bacterial vaginosis. Coconut oil cannot be used with a condom as it disrupts the surface of the condom, damaging it. When used in anal sex, coconut oil can cause discomfort and anal irritation, and sometimes it can also cause viral infections.

One should wash their hands before and after using lubricants.

Lubricants should suit the body and sensitive skin. They are meant to add to the pleasure of an intimate experience and not cause discomfort.

Personal lubricants are highly effective in easing vaginal and anal penetration, making the sexual experience pleasurable. They can also come in handy (pun intended) during masturbation and oral sex, providing the much-needed lubrication and overall wetness for an enhanced sex session. So, don't be shy about using them when needed. Happy orgasms to you!