A Beginner’s Guide To Lubricants for Your Love Life

Let's talk about one of the most underrated elements of great sex: lubrication. Whether you're with a partner or exploring solo, the right lube transforms friction into pure pleasure. It's not just about comfort — it's about unlocking experiences you didn't know you were missing.

What is a sex lubricant?

Sex lubricants are your go-to secret tool for smoother, more comfortable fun between the sheets. Whether you're looking to ease friction, spice things up, or just keep things slippery, lubes have got your back. They come in different types, water-based (easy to clean), silicone-based (long-lasting), or even oil-based (super slippery). Some even add a little extra zing with warming or cooling sensations! So, whether you're experiencing a dry spell or just want to keep things slick, the right lube can turn up the pleasure and make everything flow a little better.

Different types of lubricants

There are different kinds of sex lubricants for various types of play — ranging from foreplay to oral and from shower sex to anal. You can choose depending on what you have in mind. But choosing the right one for your needs is key. 

Dr Anuradha Khemkha, MBBS MD Obstetrics and Gynaecology, says, "Most of the lubricants are generally safe to use in moderation and not in excessive quantities. One can opt for lubricants for anal and vaginal use, which are nonirritant, hypoallergic, paraben-free, free of harsh chemicals, and pH balanced because the vagina is acidic. If the pH balance is high, women might end up with an alkaline vagina leading to excessive white discharge that is called leukorrhea or bacterial vaginosis.”

While several brand names with added flavours and textures are available in the market, there are three types of lubricants to choose from.

Water-based lubricants

As the name suggests, they are water-soluble with a few other ingredients. These work well for the vagina as well as sex toys but require reapplication for anal sex or longer sessions in the sack. Since water is their base ingredient, water-based lubricants give the most natural feeling, making them a great starting point for first-time users.

Pros:

• Work well with condoms and sex toys

• Most wallet-friendly

• Maintain the vaginal flora and protects its pH balance

Cons:

• Can't be used in a shower, pool, bathtub, or any other type of water sex, as the water-based lubricant washes away easily

• Dries out sooner than oil or silicone-based lubricants

A little tip: A silicone-based lubricant is a better choice for anal sex as it lasts longer and has a velvety feel to it, making it especially easy for first-timers.

Silicone-based lubricants

These are a blend of silicone fluids that help keep things wet and well-lubricated for a long time. A popular choice for those looking to take sex out of the bedroom, silicone-based lubricants work in the pool, the shower, and even a bathtub. This type of sex lubricant is also a better choice for anal sex as it lasts longer and has a velvety feel to it, making it especially easy for first-timers.

Pros:

• Being waterproof, they can be used in showers, pools, and bathtubs

• Best suited for anal sex due to their slicker, lasting nature

• Hypoallergenic, which means they are less likely to cause discomfort or allergies

Cons:

• Can’t be used with silicone sex toys

• Might leave stains that are not easy to wash

Oil-based lubricants

The most common but least recommended oil-based lubricants should not be used for penetrative sex. These can be used for external masturbation and anal play but can destroy condoms and also cause harm to the vagina's delicate ecosystem.

Pros:

• Great for external masturbation, massage, and stimulation

 Cons:

• Can damage condoms, leading to unwanted pregnancy and STIs

• Extremely dangerous for people with food allergies

• Use during penetrative sex can lead to an imbalance in the vagina’s pH

Here’s how to choose a lube for you

Choosing the right lubricant during sex is about finding what works best for you and your partner’s comfort. Consider factors like sensitivity, the type of sex you're having, and any allergies or sensitivities you might have. Water-based lubes are great for most situations and easy to clean up, while silicone-based options last longer and are ideal for shower or bath play. If you're prone to irritation, look for lubes with fewer chemicals, preferably ones that are hypoallergenic. Ultimately, it’s about personal preference, so experiment with different types to see what feels right for both you and your partner.

How to apply lube like a pro

Using lube is simple, but there are a few key steps to ensure maximum comfort and enjoyment. 

• Start by applying a small amount to the desired area, whether it's on yourself, your partner, or both. 

• If you’re using a water-based lube, you may need to reapply it during longer sessions, as it can dry out. Silicone-based lubes last longer, so a little amount goes a long way. 

• Always check the ingredients for any potential allergens or irritants before use, especially if you have sensitive skin. 

• If you're using lube with condoms, make sure it's compatible with the material (e.g., water-based lube works well with latex). 

• Don't be shy about using enough — more is often better when it comes to comfort.

When should lube be used & who should use it?

Lube can be a great addition to any sexual experience, and it’s not just for those with specific issues. It can be used by anyone looking to enhance comfort, reduce friction, and increase pleasure. It’s especially useful when there's not enough natural lubrication, whether due to stress, hormonal changes, or simply the type of sex you're having. 

If you're engaging in activities like vaginal or anal sex, lube can make things smoother and more enjoyable. It’s also helpful for those who experience discomfort or dryness due to age, medication, or other factors. Ultimately, it’s about personal comfort, so don’t hesitate to reach for it whenever you feel it’s needed.

Debunking the myths

Lubricants can be a fun and functional addition to any sexual experience. But despite how common lubes have become, there are still plenty of myths floating around about them. So, let’s debunk a few of these misconceptions and give you the lowdown on lube.

Myth 1: Lube is only for people with dryness or issues.

Fact: Anyone can use lube! It’s not just for people who experience dryness; it can enhance pleasure, reduce friction, and make things feel smoother for everyone.

Myth 2: Lube makes things 'artificial' or 'unnatural.'

Fact: Lubes are designed to mimic your body’s natural lubrication, and when used properly, they can make things feel more comfortable and enjoyable.

Myth 3: You can’t use lube with condoms.

Fact: Most lubes are perfectly safe with condoms, just make sure to choose the right kind. Water-based lubes are best with latex condoms, while silicone-based ones work well with non-latex options.

Myth 4: Lube causes infections.

Fact: Good-quality, hypoallergenic lubes shouldn’t cause infections. In fact, using lube can help reduce friction, which might even prevent irritation and discomfort that could lead to infections. Just avoid products with lots of added chemicals or fragrances.

Dos and don’ts: What the doctor says

Dr Khemkha shares a list of recommendations for anyone considering using lubes, including homemade, organic lubricants.

Read the ingredient list

Avoid harsh chemicals like parabens, glycerin, and petroleum jelly. Your lubricant should be non-irritant, hypoallergenic, and paraben-free.

Avoid coconut oil

Coconut oil disturbs the vaginal pH, inviting yeast infections and bacterial vaginosis. Coconut oil cannot be used with a condom as it disrupts the surface of the condom, damaging it. When used in anal sex, coconut oil can cause discomfort and anal irritation, and sometimes it can also cause viral infections.

Hygiene is critical

One should wash their hands before and after using lubricants.

Look for a happy experience

Lubricants should suit the body and sensitive skin. They are meant to add to the pleasure of an intimate experience and not cause discomfort.

Lube is the way to go!

Personal lubricants are highly effective in easing vaginal and anal penetration, making the sexual experience pleasurable. They can also come in handy (pun intended) during masturbation and oral sex, providing the much-needed lubrication and overall wetness for an enhanced sex session. So, don't be shy about using them when needed. Happy orgasms to you!

Frequently Asked Questions

1. What is a lubricant?

A lubricant is a gel, cream, or liquid designed to reduce friction during sexual activity, making things smoother and more comfortable. It can enhance pleasure and address issues like dryness or irritation.

2. What types of lubricants are available?

The main types are water-based, silicone-based, and oil-based. Water-based lubes are easy to clean and versatile, silicone-based ones last longer and are great for water play, while oil-based lubes offer a super-smooth feel but aren’t condom-friendly.

3. Are lubricants safe to use?

Yes, most lubricants are safe to use, as long as you choose the right one for your needs. Always check the ingredients for any potential allergens or irritants, especially if you have sensitive skin.