Fifty Shades of Libido: Key Facts About Your Sex Drive

Modern self-care extends far beyond face masks and fitness routines — it's about embracing every aspect of your body, including your libido. With millennials and Gen Z leading the charge in conversations around mental health, wellness, and sexual empowerment, there’s no shame in discussing your sex drive — or the lack of it. Whether you’re navigating the ups and downs of stress, relationships, or hormones, it’s time to take a real, no-judgement look at the meaning of libido. In this blog, we’ll break down eight things you need to know about your sex drive and how it’s tied to your overall well-being.

The essential facts: What is libido?

Libido refers to your overall desire or drive for sexual activity. It is often called ‘sex drive’ and is influenced by a combination of biological, psychological, and social factors. Simply put — it is your body’s natural inclination toward sexual interest or activity.

Redefining ‘normal’: Your libido is unique to you

There is no ‘normal’ libido, as it can vary greatly from person to person and change throughout your life. Factors like age, stress, hormones, and even the quality of your relationships all play a role. Some people have a higher sex drive, while others may experience a lower one — what matters most is how you feel about your own sex drive and whether it fits your emotional and physical needs. 

Research shows that 35%-40% of women in India experience challenges with sexual satisfaction. Several factors contribute to this, including age, partner, psychiatric and medical conditions, and the use of medications.

How desire evolves: How libido fluctuates for men and women over time

Libido tends to peak at different times for men and women:

For men: Libido is often highest in their late teens and early twenties due to high testosterone levels, and it gradually decreases with age.

For women: Many women experience a peak in libido in their late twenties to early thirties, with some reporting increased sex drive during midlife, possibly due to hormonal shifts like menopause.

Which gender has a higher libido?

It’s often assumed that men have higher libidos due to their testosterone levels, which peak in their late teens and gradually decline after 30 — hence the stereotype of the ‘mid-life crisis’ at 40. While testosterone plays a role, sex drive is highly individual.

Interestingly, more young men are now turning to aphrodisiacs to deal with libido concerns. “For me, aphrodisiac medicines helped break through a mental barrier I had built around sex when nothing else seemed to work,” shared a 19-year-old man who was prescribed certain medicines for low libido.

For women, libido tends to be more dynamic, fluctuating with hormonal changes during the menstrual cycle, pregnancy, and menopause. This doesn’t mean women have lower sex drives. As actress Kate Winslet recently shared in her refreshingly candid discussion about midlife sexuality: "A lot of people don't realise women have testosterone too, and when it runs out, just like eggs — it’s gone. You can replace it, though, and when you do, you’ll feel sexy again. I know.”

Signs you have a healthy libido

A healthy libido aligns with your physical and emotional needs, which can vary from person to person. Some signs include:

• Regular interest in sexual activity that feels right for you

• Physical signs of arousal, like increased heart rate, vaginal lubrication, or erections

• Satisfaction with your sexual relationships, whether encounters lead to orgasms or not

• A balance between sexual interest and other aspects of your life

Understanding the causes of low libido

Understanding what's behind your changing desire is the first step towards feeling like yourself again and reclaiming your sex life.

Causes of low libido in men

Low libido in men can stem from a variety of physical, emotional, and psychological factors, including:

• Hormonal shifts — like declining testosterone — can significantly impact desire and can lead to reduced sexual desire.

• Lifestyle factors, such as poor diet, lack of exercise, excessive alcohol consumption, or smoking, can also play a significant role in reducing libido.

• Psychological factors like stress, anxiety, depression, or relationship issues may contribute to a decrease in sexual desire as well.

• Certain medical conditions, including diabetes, obesity, and high blood pressure, can also interfere with libido.

Causes of low libido in women

In women, low libido can be influenced by a combination of hormonal changes, physical health issues, and emotional factors such as:

• Hormonal fluctuations, especially during menopause, pregnancy, or breastfeeding, can cause a decrease in sexual desire.

• Stress, anxiety, depression, and relationship problems are common psychological contributors to low libido in women.

• Physical factors, from chronic pain to conditions like PCOS and endometriosis, plus certain medications, can also affect sexual desire. Communication gaps and emotional distance can also impact one's libido.

Boosting your libido naturally: Tips you can try today

Improving libido often involves making lifestyle adjustments. Here are some tips for boosting your sex drive:

• Physical activity improves circulation and boosts mood, both of which help with sexual desire. Around 40 minutes of moderate exercise three to four times a week was shown to improve sexual satisfaction in both men and women.

• High stress levels can lower libido, so try relaxation techniques like yoga or meditation.

• Quality sleep supports both hormone balance and energy levels — both crucial for your libido.

• Nutrient-rich foods like fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and healthy fats support hormone production and sexual health. Oysters are often touted as an aphrodisiac because they are rich in zinc, which supports testosterone production.

Is high libido a problem? Here’s what you should know

Having a high libido means having a greater-than-average interest in sexual activity. While some people naturally have a higher sex drive, an especially high libido might stem from:

• Hormone levels

• Certain medical conditions

• Psychological factors like hypersexuality

Having a high libido isn’t inherently bad, but it’s important to consider how it affects your life. If your sex drive is significantly higher than your partner’s, or it leads to compulsive behaviour, it might cause issues in relationships or daily life. If your high libido feels unmanageable or affects your well-being, it’s important to speak with a healthcare provider.

Your libido, your way

Your libido is as individual as your skincare routine or your coffee order. What matters isn't matching someone else's pattern — it's understanding what feels authentic for you and making choices that support your overall wellbeing. By understanding your body and making simple adjustments, you can find balance and satisfaction on your terms.

Frequently Asked Questions

1. What is libido?

Libido refers to a person’s sexual desire or drive. It is a key part of one’s overall sexual health and well-being.

2. Is low libido normal?

Yes, it’s normal for your libido to vary throughout life, influenced by factors like age, stress, and hormones. Temporary drops in libido are common and don’t necessarily indicate a problem, but ongoing changes might require attention.

3. What causes changes in libido?

Changes in libido can result from several factors, including hormonal imbalances, stress, fatigue, relationship issues, lifestyle habits, medication, or medical conditions such as depression or diabetes.