Fifty Shades of Libido: Key Facts About Your Sex Drive

Modern self-care goes beyond face masks and fitness routines — it's about embracing every aspect of your body, including your libido. With millennials and Gen Z  leading the charge in conversations around mental health, wellness, and sexual empowerment, there’s no shame in discussing your sex drive — or the lack of it. Whether you’re navigating the ups and downs of stress, relationships, or hormones, it’s time to take a real, no-judgement look at the meaning of libido. In this blog, we’ll break down eight things you need to know about your sex drive and how it’s tied to your overall well-being.

The inside scoop: What is libido?

Libido refers to your overall desire or drive for sexual activity. It is often called "sex drive" and is influenced by a combination of biological, psychological, and social factors. Simply put — it is your body’s natural inclination toward sexual interest or activity.

Forget ‘normal’: Libido is unique to you

There is no ‘normal’ libido, as it can vary greatly from person to person and change throughout your life. Factors like age, stress, hormones, and even the quality of your relationships all play a role. Some people have a higher sex drive, while others may experience a lower one — what matters most is how you feel about your own sex drive and whether it fits your emotional and physical needs. 

In India, many females experience issues in achieving sexual pleasure, with prevalence rates typically reaching 35%-40%. Several factors contribute to this, including age, partner, psychiatric and medical conditions, and the use of medications.

When passion peaks: How libido fluctuates for men and women over time

Libido tends to peak at different times for men and women:

• For men:  Libido is often highest in the late teens and early twenties due to high testosterone levels, and it gradually decreases with age.
• For women: Many women experience a peak in libido in their late twenties to early thirties, with some reporting increased sex drive during midlife, possibly due to hormonal shifts like menopause.

Which gender has a higher libido?

It’s often assumed that men have higher libidos due to their testosterone levels, which peak in the late teens and gradually decline after 30 — hence the stereotype of the “mid-life crisis” at 40. While testosterone plays a role, sex drive is highly individual.

Interestingly, more young men are now turning to Viagra for support with libido concerns. “For me, Viagra helped me break through a mental barrier I had built around sex when nothing else seemed to work,” shared a 19-year-old man who was prescribed the drug for low libido.

For women, libido tends to be more dynamic, fluctuating with hormonal changes during the menstrual cycle, pregnancy, and menopause. This doesn’t mean women have lower sex drives. In fact, actress Kate Winslet recently sparked curiosity when she revealed, "A lot of people don't realise women have testosterone too, and when it runs out — just like eggs — it’s gone. You can replace it, though, and when you do, you’ll feel sexy again. I know.”

Signs you have a healthy libido

A healthy libido aligns with your physical and emotional needs, which can vary from person to person. Some signs include:

• Regular interest in sexual activity that feels right for you.
• Physical signs of arousal, like increased heart rate, vaginal lubrication or erections.
• Satisfaction with your sexual relationships, whether encounters lead to orgasms or not.
• A balance between sexual interest and other aspects of your life.

Low libido: What it means and how to address it

Low libido means you have less interest in sexual activity than you typically would or than you feel is right for you. It’s normal for sex drive to fluctuate, but if your libido remains low for an extended period, it might be due to underlying factors like 

• Stress
• Hormonal imbalances
• Certain medications
• Emotional issues like anxiety or depression

"Low libido can often be addressed through a combination of lifestyle changes, hormonal balance, and stress management. In many cases, simple adjustments like improving sleep, managing stress, and addressing any underlying health conditions can restore sexual desire effectively,” says Dr Chopra.

Boosting your libido naturally: Tips you can try today

Improving libido often involves making lifestyle adjustments. Here are some tips for boosting your sex drive:

• Physical activity improves circulation and boosts mood, both of which help with sexual desire. 40 minutes of moderate exercise three to four times a week was shown to improve sexual satisfaction in both men and women.
• High stress levels can lower libido, so try relaxation techniques like yoga or meditation.
• Rest is important for hormone balance and overall energy, both of which influence libido.
• Nutrient-rich foods like fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and healthy fats support hormone production and sexual health. Oysters are often touted as an aphrodisiac because they are rich in zinc, which supports testosterone production.

“This is often overlooked, but communication between partners and spending quality time together can improve the relationship and can translate into the bedroom also,” continues Dr. Chopra.

Is high libido a problem? Here’s what you should know

Having a high libido means having a greater-than-average interest in sexual activity. While some people naturally have a higher sex drive, an unusually high libido may also be linked to 

• Hormone levels
• Certain medical conditions
• Psychological factors like hypersexuality

Having a high libido isn’t inherently bad, but it’s important to consider how it affects your life. If your sex drive is significantly higher than your partner’s, or it leads to compulsive behaviour, it might cause issues in relationships or daily life. If your high libido feels unmanageable or affects your well-being, it’s important to speak with a healthcare provider.

Your libido, your way

There’s no one-size-fits-all answer when it comes to libido. What matters is how it fits into your life and overall well-being. By understanding your body and making simple adjustments, you can find balance and satisfaction — on your terms.