Gender Health
How I Navigate Neurodivergence as a Queer Person
Musiq, a Mumbai-based non-binary creative professional, speaks about being neurodivergent and navigating ADHD and autism. They talk about being misunderstood, masking their neurodivergence and liberating themselves.
Jan 29, 2024
•3 min read
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The term ‘neurodiversity’ was coined very recently as far as medical research is concerned. It came up in the 1990s by a disability studies advocate, Judy Singer, who asserted that conditions such as autism, ADHD and dyslexia, which were previously termed neurodevelopmental disorders, are, in fact, naturally occurring variations in the brain.
She said neurodivergence can impact the progress of people’s educational journey but isn’t the true measure of their IQ. Studies estimate that approximately one in every five children exhibits neurodiverse traits. In India, that number is estimated to be one in seven. In fact, in 2021, a handful of American multinational companies announced special programs to hire neurodiverse talent in India.
But while conversations on the experience of being neurodivergent have opened up in recent years, especially on social media, ignorance still abounds. ADHD and autism in queer persons have become an additionally scarce topic of discussion.
We spoke to Musiq, a Mumbai-based artist and UX designer who has been navigating neurodivergence through therapy. Here’s what they said about navigating the condition, the stigma around it, and solutions.
Q: When did you start seeking help in understanding your neurodivergence?
A: I noticed very early on that I couldn’t express myself properly while talking to my family, in the way that they wouldn’t take it in the way I meant it to. The first thought that came to my mind was, ‘There’s something wrong with me.’ I studied psychology in college, but even then, I had a very clinical view of mental health. There were a bunch of labels, but I would maintain a distance from them. But when I started therapy, I started discussing conditions that aligned with autism and ADHD. Those traits showed up in the way I communicated with my family or my social circle. So it started from there.
Neurotypicalness is in high demand, and it’s perceived as success. There’s so much fear around neurodivergence. Even I was afraid of it.
Musiq, Mumbai-based non-binary creative professional
Q: How did the outside world interpret or misunderstand what you were going through?
A: There was a recurrent sentiment in my social group up until my mid-20s that I thought only about myself or did things that only served my needs. I would get really preoccupied with different creative art forms, sometimes many at the same time. At one point, I was a full-time performing artist and dancer, but I got too involved in a way that it became harmful.
Today, I take physiotherapy for it. Art is a way for me to deal with negative emotions. For instance, I’m an illustrator and product designer, and it helps me deal with emotions when I feel misunderstood.
But people around me look at my endeavours as something unreasonable and unrealistic. They don’t understand that my ADHD traits show up in the way I manage multiple activities and interests. Now, I approach these art forms with more awareness and intention while at the same time understanding why people misinterpret what I’m feeling.
Q: Why do you think neurodivergence continues to be stigmatised?
A: In the society that we live in, any behaviour that is deviant, for lack of a better word, or unconventional—all of which fall within the spectrum of neurodivergence—is stigmatised. Neurotypicalness is in high demand, and it’s perceived as success. There’s so much fear around neurodivergence. Even I was afraid of it. That’s why these issues aren’t talked about. Social media has helped dispel some stigma, but that’s really a drop in the ocean, and more often than not, it’s shared without context.
Queerness helped me feel more liberated in so many aspects of my life. It opened me up to accepting my neurodivergent tendencies and also understanding them more.
Musiq, Mumbai-based non-binary creative professional
Q: Did you end up masking because of this stigma?
A: I spent a better part of my life masking. I know a lot of neurodivergent people who would attest to that. I struggle a lot even now. But taking off this mask has been incredibly liberating.
Sometimes, it’s still hard to navigate workspaces because there's a certain professionalism people demand, and that’s a manufactured concept. This is why it’s become important for me to build a community of people with whom I don’t have to keep masking.
Q: How did being queer help you navigate neurodivergence?
A: Queerness helped me feel more liberated in so many aspects of my life. It opened me up to accepting my neurodivergent tendencies and also understanding them more. It made me accept that there’s nothing wrong with me. This is just the way I am.
Medically reviewed by:
Dr B. S. Mahesh, Clinical Psychologist
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