You Had Me at Awkward – 4 Ways To Turn Hiccups Into High Fives

We’ve all been there: The awkward handshake during a first meeting, forgetting your aunt’s name at a family function, waving at someone only to realise it’s not who you thought, or blurting out a story meant only for your ears. The list of embarrassing situations is endless! All that cringe can make us uncomfortable, but they’re also a reminder that everyone has their fair share of awkward moments. Knowing how to deal with awkward situations can help us navigate through them with a little more ease and confidence!

Psychologist Malvika Lobo believes that awkwardness can emerge in any social situation, often stemming from embarrassment and heightened self-consciousness. She adds, “As humans, we have an innate need to be accepted and liked, and when that is at risk, we feel anxious. Anxiety has this tendency to catastrophise scenarios and tap into our imagination. The 'what ifs' we cling to prepare us for the worst. However, in most situations, things are not the worst - we're already prepped for the worst, and so we end up playing it out.”

Alexandra Plakias, Associate Professor of Philosophy at Hamilton College and author of the recently published book ‘Awkwardness: A Theory’, discussed this topic in a podcast titled  ‘Overthink’.

She said, “ I think awkwardness is something that kind of comes out of social interactions. So the tagline usually goes: people aren't awkward, situations are awkward, right? And situations get awkward when we lack a social script to guide us through a situation.”

Research indicates that social anxiety can cause individuals to perceive social mistakes as markers of incompetence or unacceptability in the eyes of others. This intensified fear of public judgment exacerbates anxiety during social interactions. Consequently, we often find ourselves trapped in a cycle of uncomfortable situations, dwelling in the realm of "Why me?" as our fears lead us to repeatedly ask, “Why do I always end up in awkward situations?”

Psychologist Malvika Lobo lists simple ways to deal with awkward situations:

Coming to terms with who you show up as is enough. You do not have to have perfect interactions, as it is a two-way street. No matter how perfect you are, the other person might come with their own set of challenges. There is no right way to have a good interaction; there is only a YOU way of doing that, and that might probably be the best way. 

Honesty goes a long way. Addressing the elephant in the room might ease that awkward elephant's nerves and allow it to be an elephant. The truth is if you feel awkward, the other person will likely pick that up. Acknowledging and collaborating on ways to move past or allow it to be without panic might also work out well. 

Approaching new interactions with curiosity instead of assumption might help, especially since the other person doesn't think like you. Getting to know them will increase predictability; hence, asking them questions and getting to know them would be more helpful than focusing on yourself and how or what you think you have to be. 

Not everything is as serious as our anxiety tells us it is - It gets difficult to laugh at awkward situations, especially the ones we think we must perform in. Anxiety brings a sense of intensity and fear that might not be warranted in the situation. Learning to laugh at yourself as well as with others can really help you lean into connecting with people. 
The bottom line is that we all have our fair share of excuses during awkward situations, but it’s best to lean into it and let our true self shine. Because, eventually, your awkward self may be the bridge to building meaningful relationships